Unspoken

Many things have been happening in these last few months. It's been really hectic. Josiah got surgery in April and it was very hard on me as a first time parent or to be a parent. I found out I was pregnant in May. I was like WHAT!? I barely had a baby in October I can't have another one.

Than in June 16th I went to the ER, I was bleeding and I was really scared. The doctor told me, the baby and I will be fine. Then the next week I had a doctors appointment to see how my bleeding was going and if the baby was ok. Then the worst news anyone can tell a pregnant women is that you (I) was going to have a miscarriage. I just thought to myself.. For real, is this really happening? I couldn't believe it. Many women lose babies, but my mom didn't, my sister in laws didn't. So why me? Let me remind you that Josiah came out when he was barely 7 months and 1 day. Than this one was coming out in 1 month and 5 days. This can't be happening to me. After the doctors appointment, I went home crying. I started to have pain on my lower back. It was the same pain that I had when I was going into labor. I told my sister Cristina that I was getting pains, she told me not to worry and to rest. I fell asleep on her bed. I did, but when I woke up the bed was full of blood. I kept bleeding like crazy. I kept using the restroom and when I went to the restroom at 6 PM, I felt something weird coming out when I was peeing. I told my sisters Cristina and Bonnie we checked. It was a little sack. It was the baby. That was the hardest thing that has happened. But I guess everything happens for a reason. I went to Urgent Care where they checked me, then they sent me to the ER and checked me again. They said that everything came out in 1 piece. Let me take you back a few hours before the miscarriage. After I came home Tani and Chuy gave me a blessing. That helped me so much to be calm, no pain and to be ok after the miscarriage. I didn't cry only when I found out and when the baby had came out. I left from the hospital at 11:30 PM. I was so tired and hungry. After I got something to eat and got home I spoke with my husband he told me everything would be fine. I was so glad that I have the best family. My parents were in Mexico at that time, but I had my sisters, brothers, husband and my Lil monkey Josiah.

I guess everything happens for a reason. I just think to myself, that I have had some really hard trials. I guess.. I'm just a really strong person with a really strong heart, spirit and mind. I so glad that my parents showed my how to be strong and have faith in what Heavenly Father has in store for us. I have so many feelings, it's just to hard to express them right now. Maybe in the future. I just need a little more time to heal. But I know Heavenly Father will help me and knows how I feel. I also went to the Temple, that has been a great blessing to have a temple recommend so I can visit it any time I need or want to.

Oh.. I can't forget about July. It's been a blast.. 4th of July, Temple Night, Cristina's & Manny's Birthday and Josiah is crawling, he also has 3 teeth now. Oh.. yeah..I will be going to Mexico in a couple of weeks. YAY! So excited to see family I haven't seen in a long time. So glad for VACATION! :) I see all of the positive things and that makes me happy for what I have. I am so blessed in many ways.

My Pride and Joy!


-Alma